Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
This is the high leading the old right now
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
