Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
