So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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