cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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