I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
