He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
