It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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