apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
