Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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