Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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