As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
