i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
