so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
