Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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