And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Randomize
