He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
