Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
We have so much sex to catch up on
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
