Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
