Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
