Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
