ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
