I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
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