16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
