Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
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He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
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He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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