Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
