But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
