I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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