why didn't you poke me back
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
