I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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