super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
