Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven

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(216): View more from Ohio

Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?

(1-216): View more from Ohio

Lol no its called college

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?

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(708): View more from Illinois

Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?

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(316): View more from Kansas

I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey

(1-316): View more from Kansas

It’s a holiday tradition at this point

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