Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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