I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
