no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
