I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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