My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
We just shotgunned beers for America
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
