Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Everything about him screamed your future.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
