If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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