I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
