don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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