the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
