we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
accomplished twins. life is a go
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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