I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I will be naked everywhere
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Who died my cat blue again?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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