I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
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You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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