She went from zero to smokin in five shots
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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