Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
