how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
so much tequila, so little girl.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
