Three words: puerto rican gang bang
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
