Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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