Ambien. No doubt about it.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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