I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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