butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
