just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
