p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
