I just cut my nipple shaving
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
