Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you win again, gameday.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
