I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
and i looked up. we had an audience...
where are you?
Hypothermia
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
