11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
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