I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
